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0458: Essay Questionable in I Think Therefore Iamb 12th Nov, 2018

0458: Essay Questionable
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Author Notes:
Mel Cormac edit delete
Mel Cormac
*translator’s note: a weak ending is a line of verse ending with an unstressed syllable (while iambic pentameter ends with a stressed syllable—Hamlet’s famous “to be or not to be” soliloquy uses weak endings).
User comments:

HiFranc edit delete reply
HiFranc
Reminds me of that spell in Harry Potter that made the victim speak in verse.
Mel Cormac edit delete reply
Mel Cormac
I haven't read those books in a while, I forgot about that! Maybe it's where I got the idea?
ProfEtheric edit delete reply
ProfEtheric
Heh. More of the Bard.

And coffee truly is a magical bean! :D
Mel Cormac edit delete reply
Mel Cormac
Indeed, there's magic in caffeine, methinks!
anonymous coward (Guest) edit delete reply
I knew it, I knew it! Coffee is so evil that it makes people speak in embarrassing fake-Elizabethan! Clearly for the good of the world I should borrow a CRISPR/Cas9 set and get to work. The most straightforward way to do it probably involves crossing features of relevant fungal cultures to try and make a best of breed coffee rust with features of Panama disease to save the world from the scourge of the demon bean. Wait, I'm too busy with my real job, I guess I have to outsource saving the world by offering bulk quantities of leftover pizza to poor biomed grad students.

I wonder how much I should be worried that the first plan that springs to mind to save the world from this threat is something I could imagine as a futures market trader's evil plot.
Mel Cormac edit delete reply
Mel Cormac
An iambic pentameter virus - the twist in the zombie genre no one asked for!
anonymous coward (Guest) edit delete reply
Virus to fix our words as flies entombed
in amber? No. Freedom of free verse is
a requirement of speech and thought. But worse
again is necrophilia upon
words long consigned to dust of archaic
usage by scholars diligent and wise.
A plague to cause such a perversion can
spell disaster of greater depth and loss.
Mel Cormac edit delete reply
Mel Cormac
May not we like young babes make playthings of
These words admittedly long past our time?
Yet we must not in reckless manner play;
This way in which we speak in jest may well
Become the path to pathogenic speech.